Shadow of Myself
by AlyssaLLBlack13
Summary: What would happen if the RENT characters played themselves onstage? Seriously, what would...?features Mommie Dearest Roger plotlines...
1. Playbill

_**Author's note: Okay, I don't know how well this idea is going to work, but…I'll try. **_

Cast of Characters

Roger Davis as himself

Mark Cohen as himself

Tom Collins as himself

Angel Dumott Schunard as herself

Mimi Marquez as herself

Maureen Johnson as herself

Joanne Jefferson as herself

Benjamin Coffin III as himself

Mrs. Cohen as herself

_**Do you get the picture? They all play themselves!**_

Also featuring:

Mrs. Davis (aka Charlene)

Alexi Darling

Mr. and Mrs. Jefferson

The Man

Paul

Steve/Gordon

Mrs. Marquez

And so on…

Performance order:

**Act 1**

Tune Up # 1

Voice Mail # 1

Tune Up # 2

RENT

You Okay Honey

Tune Up # 3

One Song Glory

Light My Candle

Voice Mail # Two

Today 4 U

You'll See Boys

Tango Maureen

Life Support

Out Tonight

Another Day

Will I

On The Street

Santa Fe

I'll Cover You

We're Okay

Christmas Bells

Over the Moon

La Vie Boheme

I Should Tell You

La Vie Boheme B

**Act 2**

Seasons of Love

Happy New Year

Voice Mail # 3

Happy New Year B

Take Me or Leave Me

Seasons of Love B

Without You

Voice Mail # 4

Contact

I'll Cover You reprise

Halloween

Goodbye Love

What You Own

Voice Mail # 5

Finale

Your Eyes

Finale B


	2. This is a Tune Up?

**A: We open on a stage devoid of life. All the usual trappings of a production of RENT are there: tables, chairs, tree, platform, band section. But there are no actors. Suddenly, an ominous voice fills the theater space.**

Random announcer (April): _Attention. Tonight's performance of _RENT _will begin momentarily. We seem to be having trouble locating an actor. Or two. Please hold on, we will begin shortly. _

**Suddenly, an actor rushes onstage. He is breathless, but holding a camera and it is clear he is to play Mark.**

Mark: Sorry for the delay, folks. We had a little bit of an incident backstage. Seems some of our…uh…actors don't get along too well. Anyway, let us just finish getting ready. We'll start in five minutes.

**-Five minutes later-**

**All of the actors rush on stage, to find their positions. Roger climbs onto the table, back pointedly to the audience, and Mark goes to the front of the stage.**

Mark: We begin on Christmas Eve with me, Mark, and my roommate, Roger. We live in an industrial loft on the corner of 11th street and Avenue B, the top floor of what was once a music publishing factory. Old rock 'n' roll posters hang on the walls. They have Roger's picture advertising gigs at CBGB's and the Pyramid Club. We have an illegal wood burning stove; its exhaust pipe crawls up to a skylight. All of our electrical appliances are plugged into one thick extension cord which snakes its way out a window. Outside, a small tent city has sprung up in the lot next to our building. Inside, we are freezing because we have no heat. Smile!

**Roger flips him the bird, the goes back to his guitar. He shudders as he forces himself to play a wrong note; this guitar is his baby.**

Mark: December 24, nine pm, Eastern Standard Time, from here on in I shoot without a script. See if anything comes of it, instead of my old shit. First shot Roger, tuning a fender guitar he hasn't played in a year

Roger: This won't tune

Mark: So we hear. He's just coming back, from half a year of withdrawal…

Roger: (laying the guitar aside.) You know what? Fuck this. What the hell are we doing here, Mark?

Mark: You could be more willing to do this. We're getting paid for this.

Roger: Fuck the paycheck. This is stupid. I'm out of here.

**Roger storms offstage. As he exits, a slowly forming black eye is visible to the audience. Mark sighs.**

Mark: Sorry, folks. He's a little touchy right now. Let me deal with this, and we'll get this show back on the road. Um, Mo? Could you…?

Maureen: (from stage right) Oh, right. Sing something. Got it.

Mark: No…I meant…oh, never mind. Just keep you-know-who over _there._

**Mark exits after Roger. Maureen comes onstage to lead a rousing chorus of Joy to the World, and is quickly pulled off by an annoyed Joanne.**

April: _Sorry, folks. Looks like we're gonna need a few more minutes. Just hang tight. Roger'll be back soon._

Audience: (mostly mutinous murmuring, though one or two people or catching on…)

**A/N: The stage is quiet again, but listen closely, and the audience can just barely make out Roger screaming at Mark… and that's where I leave you all, my devoted readers!**


	3. Definately not RENT

**(A/N: If you haven't read my story Mommie Dearest, I'm going to ask that you do before going on. That way, you won't get too confused later on in the story!)**

April: _Sorry about that. Roger's all better now. So, shall we get this show on the road?_

**Roger walks back onstage; looking rather annoyed, but subdued, and flops back onto the table. Mark follows. He reaches center stage, and turns to address the audience.**

Mark: Okay, let's get back to the show. We're going to skip ahead to the song _Rent _so as not to keep you all here for too long.

**Roger begins to play "Musetta's Waltz," again wincing. The power blows, and the stage erupts into movement.**

Mark: How do you document real life, when real life's getting more like fiction each day? Headlines, breadlines blow my mind and now this deadline, eviction or pay….RENT!

Roger: How do you write a song when the chords sound wrong, though they once sounded right and rare? When the notes are sour, where is the power you once had to ignite the air?

Mark: And we're hungry and frozen

Roger: Some life that we've chosen!

-**A few moments later, as the song winds down…-**

**Roger again picks up his guitar, sitting on the table as "You Okay Honey?" begins. Angel is singing lovingly to Collins, and it is clear that this is more than acting.**

Angel: You're cute when you blush. The more the merrier, Ho Ho Ho! And I do not take no.

**Mark looks at Roger, who looks like he'd rather be anywhere but on the stage. **

Mark: Something bugging you?

Roger: You have to ask, dude? You're the one who dragged me to this stupid thing in the first place.

Mark: I just figured…

Roger: What? That I'd get a kick out of acting out something that's already happened to me? **He forgets that the microphone is still on. **Because, if you hadn't noticed, Cohen, I would rather not relive it. It was not exactly happy peppy fun camp for me.

Mark: (**getting annoyed) **You know what Davis? I'm getting sick of your defeatist attitude. You act like the entire world is ending because a couple of things go wrong. Get over it. And we didn't live this entire thing. Angel's still here, isn't she? So stop playing the pity card, Davis. It's not fun for me either. You don't hear me bitching!

Roger: **(laying the guitar aside and getting into Mark's face, allowing his extra couple inches of height to be an advantage) **Fuck you, Cohen. _Fuck you. _You have always thought that life is just fun and games, but you know what? It's not. Shit happens every day. And I have never played the pity card in my life. If you didn't push me all the time, you wouldn't know when something was wrong. I've never unloaded my shit on you willingly.

Mark: What the hell did I do?

Roger: Do I seriously have to answer that? Are you really that stupid?

Mark: It's not _my_ fault that your mother is a bitch!

**Roger loses it, throwing a punch in Mark's direction. Luckily for Mark, Roger's aim sucks when he's in a blind rage. Nonetheless, Maureen and Mimi rush onstage. Maureen throws herself between the boys, and Mimi pulls Roger back. Roger clenches his fist at his side, determined not to lash out at Mimi. Maureen glares at him.**

Maureen: Why do you always have to take your anger out on Mark? What the fuck did he ever do to you?

Roger: Nothing! I just…he picks and he picks, and I can't control it.

Maureen: Well, start controlling it.

**Roger glares at Maureen.**

Roger: Fuck you. You know what? Fuck this shit. I'm done. Find someone else for your little crap show!

**Roger storms offstage (again!). Mimi throws a death glare at Maureen before running after him. Mark crosses his arms, clearly annoyed, and a little bit angry.**

Mark: Why do you always have to make it worse? He would have been fine had you not opened your big mouth!

Maureen: Fine. Sue me for trying to help. I never get any gratitude around here. I'm the bad guy for leaving Mark, I'm the bad guy for cheating on Joanne, I'm the bad guy for fucking _breathing_! Why do I even try?

**Maureen storms offstage. Mark is left standing alone in front of the table. He flips the bird in Maureen's general direction, then follows Roger and Mimi. Angel enters, wearing the Santa dress, but without her wig, spandex pants or boots. Clearly, she was in the middle of her costume change. She looks worried, but annoyed at the same time.**

Angel: Folks, it seems we're going to have to take another break. I apologize for the inconvenience. If you'd like to leave, please stop by the box office, and we'll give you a full refund of your ticket price.

**She exits. **

April:_ Please forgive the delays, folks, it seems Roger's just in a snit today. He'll snap out of it. We'll be back shortly._

**A/N: And that's where I leave you all, because I've got to get ready to go out with my aunt. Hope this satisfies you till next time. Eventually we'll make it past Glory!**


	4. Whatever happened to Glory?

**A/N: And we're back!**

April: _Alright folks, it seems we're ready to start _One Song Glory._ Sorry about the delay. It shouldn't happen again._

**Roger walks onstage and picks up the guitar. He keeps his back to the audience for a second, as though convincing himself to do this, and then sits on the table. He begins to pick out a couple of notes.**

Roger: I'm writin' one great song, before I…

**His voice falters, and he stops. But before anyone can yell at him, he takes a deep breath, and begins to play "Musetta's Waltz." The song is garbled, crappy-sounding, and shortly, he forces himself to hit that wrong note. He lays the guitar aside. The band begins to play "Glory."**

Roger: One song. Glory. One song before I go, Glory, one song to leave behind. Find one song, one last refrain, glory from the pretty boy front man who wasted opportunity. One song, he had the world at his feet, Glory, in the eyes of a young girl, a young girl. Find glory, beyond the cheap colored lights, one song, before the sun sets glory - on another empty life. Time flies - time dies, Glory - One blaze of glory, one blaze of glory – Glory.

Find, Glory, in a song that rings true, truth like a blazing fire, an eternal flame, find, one song, a song about love, Glory, from the soul of a young man, a young man Find, the one song, before the virus takes hold, Glory, like a sunset, one song, to redeem this empty life. Time flies, and then no need to endure anymore. Time dies.

**Mimi knocks.**

Roger: The door.

**Mimi enters, holding a candle.**

Roger: What'd he forget?

Mimi: Got a light?

**Mimi flirts for awhile, with Roger continuously trying to pull away.**

Mimi: I always remind people of…who is she?

Roger: She died-her name was April.

**At that moment, some random person in the audience—who happens to be named April—stands up (on a dare from her friends) and screams: "**I'm not dead!"

**Roger freezes, momentarily stunned. The music cuts. Mimi drops the candle, resisting the urge to throw her arms around him. However, Roger shakes his head to indicate they should go on. Mimi picks up the candle, and the music continues.**

Mimi: It's out again. **Roger gives her in incredulous look. **Sorry 'bout your friend. Would you light my candle?

**This goes on for awhile. Finally, Mimi snakes her arms around Roger, dancing with him, and trying to get into his back pocket.**

Mimi: They call me…They call me…Mimi.

**She triumphantly flashes her "stash," turns, and exits, leaving Roger staring after her. He shrugs, and the lights fade on him, then come up on Mr. and Mrs. Jefferson, with Maureen silhouetted in the background. **

Maureen: Hi. You've reached Maureen and Joanne. Leave a message and don't forget Over the Moon -- My performance, protesting the eviction of the Homeless (and artists) from the Eleventh Street Lot. Tonight at midnight in the lot between A and B. Party at Life Cafe to follow.

**The Jeffersons finish their call. Lights fade in on Roger, who moves to sit on the table. Mark enters, followed by Collins.**

Mark:Enter Tom Collins, computer genius, teacher, vagabond anarchist, who ran naked through the Parthenon.

**Collins grins at Mark and Roger. "Today 4 U" happens. "You'll See Boys" happens. Roger behaves himself, except to flip the bird to Benny's retreating back. He freezes on the table. Mark walks to the other side of the stage. **

Mark: And so, into the abyss. The Lot, where a small stage is partially set up. Close on Mark's nosedive…will he get out of here…alive?

Joanne: Mark?

Mark: Hi.

"**The Tango: Maureen" happens. Mark is just about to head offstage to get in place for "Life Support" when a commotion occurs on Roger's side of the stage. All the stage lights come on, just in time for the audience to see Roger's mother slap him across the face. Hard. Roger slams into the table behind him. He doesn't get up, and Mark and Maureen both rush forward, along with Collins. Collins steps in front of Roger, taking the next swing from Mrs. Davis. Maureen checks all of Roger's vitals, making sure he's still breathing, and Mark checks for blood. Benny comes over to help Collins drag Mrs. Davis away. Angel rushes out with a first aid kit and an ice pack. Maureen shoos her away, giving her a look that says "Go take care of Mimi." Angel nods and leaves the stage. Roger begins to sit up. He is moving slowly, and is clearly disoriented. Mark slings an arm around his shoulders and helps him stand up. Maureen gets on the other side so that Roger can lean on her as well, and she and Mark carefully lead him off stage left. Joanne comes on from stage right.**

Joanne: Sorry, folks. This was clearly not planned out very well. We should keep those two on opposite sides of the stage. Anyway, please sit tight, and we'll get back on track as soon as Roger is ready.

**She exits.**

April: _Okay, folks. Now it's getting ridiculous. If you want a refund, please visit the box office. Sorry._

**(A/N: And now you know why I said you should read Mommie Dearest first. Sorry about the cliffie. Next chapter up soon!) **


End file.
